Parent teenager relationship – good news.

The good news is that teens do listen to parents about their future.

Parent teenager relationship not as bad as we thought!

parent teenager relastionhip Most parents I talk to think that their teens don’t listen to them, which may feel true in the moment. I absolutely know it isn’t true at all. So I get really excited when research backs up what I already know. NCS, an amazing company that provides an equally amazing programme for 16/17-year-olds found that 70% of teenagers do listen to their parents and seek advice when it comes to big decisions.  The decisions they are not likely to seek advice on are spending money, choice of university, A-Level subjects, university courses and their group of friends. So it is not all doom and gloom, our children really do listen to us. So it looks like the Parent teenager relationship is actually pretty string.

 So why do we worry about them so much? Parent teenager relationship means as much to them. 

Firstly, teens are not so great at looking like they are listening.  And often, we think that they aren’t listening when really they are. But from this research it appears that most parents worry about them so much because they perhaps didn’t take the advice themselves when they were young. 89% of parents say that they had regrets from their youth.

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Parenting Teenagers more difficult than a newborn.

6/10 Parents say parenting teenagers is more difficult than parenting newborns.

Parenting TeenagersAs UCAS deadlines loom and teenagers prepare to make decisions that could impact the rest of their lives, new research released today by National Citizen Service (NCS), the UK’s flagship youth programme, reveals parents are also feeling the pressure with six in ten admitting they worry more about their children as teenagers than they did as newborn babies. Essentially saying they feel parenting teenagers is more difficult than parenting newborns.

The research suggests parental anxiety is not fuelled by teenagers being disillusioned and disengaged as often portrayed. Many parents even admit their teen is more mature and more focused on their future than they were at that age, echoing previous research from NCS which named today’s teens as ‘Generation Citizen’. Instead, concerns are driven by parents’ regrets from their own youth – nine in ten have regrets from their adolescence  – and half agree that decisions made during their teenage years have impacted their life today. The study shows parents think they’d be wealthier, have a better job and be happier, if they had made better choices growing up. As teenagers prepare to submit UCAS applications in the New Year, parents are anxious about the decisions their teenager makes, feeling they have no influence over their child’s choices.

 

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Friendship issues in middle school

Friendship Expert Annie Fox answers your questions on friendship issues in middle school and beyond.

Friendship issues in middle schoolSarah Newton’s Questions, Annie Foxs Answers for Sarah’s hosted stop on the Girls’ Q&A Book on Friendship blog tour.

Q1: How do you maintain a friendship when there are big changes that get in the way. For example: studying/moving to uni or having a family.

 Annie: Now, more than ever, it is easy to maintain connections with people. That said, there needs to be a willingness and a time commitment on the part of both parties, to put in the effort to stay in touch. A friendship, whether at close range or long distance, is a two-way street. It’s not enough for one friend to devote 100% or even 200% to the friendship if the other person doesn’t put in the effort. If you’ve got a child whose friend has experienced a “big change” it may be that this friendship will move into a new phase, for whatever reason. Please reassure your child that the “change” is not due to anything he or she did “wrong.” Explain that sometimes people get focused on other things require their attention more than this particular friendship. If your child is feeling sad because a friendship is slipping away, encourage him or her to express those feelings to their friend. No guarantee that anything will or can change, but there is benefit to have the opportunity to speak up and share feelings. Also, encourage your child to be on the look-out for new friendships. That will help ease any feelings of loss or abandonment. I hope this helps!

Q2: My 14 yr old son pushes other boys away when they try and be mates, as he is afraid of be called gay, he is struggling with his sexuality at the moment. Any coping strategies very welcome. 

 Annie: This is a challenging situation that I believe would be helped with the support of a counselor or therapist who specializes in working with teen boys and their parents. Your son would benefit from a safe environment in which he can talk openly and honestly about his sexuality and his concerns about how getting close to other boys as friends might be interpreted. I would also suggest that as his parent, you also have a session with a therapist. Talking with a trained professional about the most supportive approach to take with a young teen who is “struggling” with his sexuality will be beneficial to you and to your son.

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Quality Time with Teenagers.

Activities That Teens Will Want to Do with Their Parents, Really! Quality Time with your teen.

activities with teens
Quality Time with Teenagers

As most parents of teenagers know quite well, their once-small children who used to cry when they were dropped off at preschool and followed them all over the house have transformed into independent young men and women who would rather hang with their friends than good ol’ mom and dad. How do you spend quality time with your teenagers? While a certain level of independence is a very good thing and parents should be pleased that they are raising teens who have their own ideas and interests, it’s still nice to spend time together as a family.

The following four outdoor activities can help inspire teens to put down their phones for an hour or so and reacquaint themselves with their folks.

Take a Hike

As Family Values Club notes, hiking is an ideal activity for teens to do with their parents. While younger kids can get tired and whiny after a mile or so, teens can typically hike for longer distances and can appreciate related activities like bird watching. If you are not sure about local hiking trails, you can always search AllTrails for hiking hotspots in your city, or you can ask friends who enjoy hiking where they like to head out.

Once the hike is over, head to the ice cream or frozen yogurt shop for a post-hike treat. It’s a nice and tasty way to extend your time together.

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Teens messy bedrooms

Does it matter if your child’s bedroom is a mess?

Don’t Judge me – messy bedrooms!

messy bedroomsThe other day I started to talk about the state of my daughter’s bedroom to illustrate a point about respect. In all of my 14 year of working with parents I am convinced Parents focus on the wrong things when judging if they are great at this parenting job (whatever great is).

They tend to focus on:

  • Homework
  • Grades
  • Chores and the state of their child’s bedroom i.e messy bedrooms.

While these are all valid things I would suggest that when they are older a child will not put their success down to clean bedroom, a perfect report card or three hours of homework a night ! Do messy bedrooms really matter that much?

We judge if  a teen will be a success by the amount of homework they do, their grades and the state of their bedroom. Crazy!

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