My Book is book of the month

Parenting Teenagers – Books

I am so excited my book “Help! My Teenager is an Alien” is book of the month over at  Penguins facebook page . They also have a cool competition to win one so please make sure you go over there and join in.

To promote it I have loads of great free stuff for you.

I have a free podcast

Top Tips for establishing a great relationship with your teenager


And I am answering questions in video form on this page . Please pop on over and ask me a question.

 

Dealing with Divorce

How to separate without doing your child any lasting damage.

 There is no doubt that divorce is a emotive subject and while we never come out of it fully unscathed, I do think that there are ways to make the process a little easier for your children.  Divorce can sometimes be the best thing for all concerned and I do believe that being in an environment where all parties are happier is a much better message to give our children than staying together for the children, yet everyone being miserable.

 When my eldest child was three I decided to leave her father and while the circumstances were horrible, I always made sure that I kept a level head and never brought her into the whole drama of the situation. I am living proof that you can get through a very bitter breakup without doing your children unnecessary harm.

So here are my top tips.

1. Be Truthful – most divorces are to do with lack of communication, trust or one party not being truthful.  End this now – decide to be truthful with your child (as much as their age allows) – tell them the truth of the situation and keep them informed of what is happening at every step.  Being truthful is not the same as blaming, being angry and asking the teen to choose – it is telling them the truth in a neutral way, one that has no charge and does not apportion blame. If both parties can be present at this point here it allows the child to see that you are both dealing with this as responsible adults.  It will help then feel more secure. Children like nothing less than being forced to choose sides.

 2. Allow your child to feel their own pain – while there is certainly pain here for you as a parent, there is some for the child too. Allow your child to feel whatever they need to – anger, hurt, frustration, betrayal. Do not try to fix it. Just allow them to have these feelings.  Allow them to shout, cry; do whatever, just as you have had your chance to. Do not justify your actions. Just ask your child what support they need from you right now.

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My Teenager has rejected my new partner

Help ! My Blended Family

Dear Sarah,

I got re-married last year and have a 13-year-old son Jack from my first marriage. My new husband has no children and finds it hard with Jack sometimes. My late husband died from cancer two years ago and Jack has found it very difficult to cope and has completely rejected my new husband. Jack shouts and screams and stays in his room all the time. Please help, I’m at the end of my tether.

Help Julie

Got a question you would like Sarah to answer? Just send us an e-mail at sarah@sarahnewton.com.

If you want more help supporting your teenager then check out my course

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Mastery in Parenting

“Tell me how can I be a learner. My mind went absolutely blank then I heard myself saying, it’s simple. To be a learner, you’ve got to be willing to be a fool.” Mastery by George Leonard

When I read the above quote I felt a sense of relief. Basically, George Leonard was saying that to be a Master you always have to be willing to learn and to be a learner you have to be willing to be a fool. I instantly thought how this could apply to parenting.

As Parents, and of course the adults, we think we have all the answers, are always right and never falter in front of our kids. Actually, Mastery at anything, including parenting, is a life-long learning process. We will never have it entirely mastered, never stop learning and die without ever having all the answers.

So if this is the case then why are we always so hard on ourselves, putting so much pressure on ourselves to get it right? Perhaps we have forgotten that to be a learner and therefore a Master we have to be willing to be a fool, to get it wrong a few times and not be perfect.

So how willing are you to be a fool in parenting? Where can you take the pressure of yourself this week and play the fool?

My Teenage daughter worries so much

Parenting Advice

Dear Sarah,

My daughter has always been a worrier, but recently she has been getting very stressed out about her school work and exams. She cries all the time and spends every night doing her homework and then checking it over and over. Her school marks have always been good and I’ve tried telling her that she will do fine, but she doesn’t seem to hear what I say. How can I help her?

Got a question you would like Sarah to answer? Just send us an e-mail at sarah@sarahnewton.com.

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