Getting Divorced? 6 Things To Tell Your Teen

What you must say to your teenager to lessen the blow of a divorce.

1. It’s not their fault. 

Teens are sensitive souls at a very vulnerable time of their lives. What you say now will make an impression. Let them know, despite how good or bad they were, that this break up is not in any way their fault.

2. That you love them.

I know this seems obvious, but it is not always done. Teens can think that a break means that you just didn’t love them enough to stay together. How many people say they stay together for the children? Better to let your teen know that you love them and you want them to see this is not a great relationship, rather than to stay together for their sake with everyone unhappy.

3. How things will change.

Teens worry how the break up will affect them and often the parents are too worried about themselves to worry about their child. Let them know what will and will not change as soon as you can and reassure them that you will do your best to keep things as they are now, if possible.

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The 5 things you should never say to children

Language has an Impact

Words matter, there is no doubt about it and what we say to our children can and will have a lasting

Recent research has shown that language has an impact. A new study has found that the phrase, “That’s so gay!” can have lasting effects on students who consider themselves as bisexual, gay, lesbian or transgender (LGBT).

Words matter, there is no doubt about it and what we say to our children can and will have a lasting effect of their future happiness.

Studies conducted by Dr. John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago have shown that negative words have a much greater impact in our brain, something called the Negativity Bias. Hence insults and criticism hit us hard and make a more lasting impact on us. We can’t offset one negative with one positive and experts argue that it takes anywhere from 2 -5 positive words to offset a negative one.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t fancy trying to remember each day how many bad and good things I have said to my children. Haven’t we got too much to do as parents anyway? I have to say though, in all of my 17 years in this field of parenting and teens I think there are some negatives that have more of lasting effects than others and are much more difficult to shake off. So here they are; the five things that you should NEVER say to your children.

1. You are stupid.

Can you believe that people say this? They do; I have heard it, whether it is said in jest or not, this saying has a lasting impact. This one is cutting to the core; don’t say it ever and if you hear someone saying it to your child, tell them immediately that it is not true.

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My Book is book of the month

Parenting Teenagers – Books

I am so excited my book “Help! My Teenager is an Alien” is book of the month over at  Penguins facebook page . They also have a cool competition to win one so please make sure you go over there and join in.

To promote it I have loads of great free stuff for you.

I have a free podcast

Top Tips for establishing a great relationship with your teenager


And I am answering questions in video form on this page . Please pop on over and ask me a question.

 

Parenting Teens E-Book

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