Don’t Judge me!
The other day I started to talk about the state of my daughter’s bedroom to illustrate a point about respect. In all of my 14 year of working with parents I am convinced Parents focus on the wrong things when judging if they are great at this parenting job (whatever great is).
They tend to focus on:
- Chores and the state of their child’s bedroom
While these are all valid things I would suggest that when they are older a child will not put their success down to clean bedroom, a perfect report card or three hours of homework a night !
We judge if a teen will be a success by the amount of homework they do, their grades and the state of their bedroom. Crazy!
In my opinion their is only one thing you can judge success on and that is your relationship you have with them. If you have a great relationship with your child they will be a success no matter how messy their bedroom may be. If you have a loving respectful caring relationship nothing else matters. Oh and by the way arguing about how clean their bedroom is, for example will not make a great relationship !
So to prove my point here you go.
My eldest daughter is the most kindest, driven, caring strong young lady I know, and yet her bedroom often represents this:
Do I worry? Never, it is what it is, it is her space she can do what she wants with it as long as it is legal ! In her defense this was taken in the middle of university applications, volunteering on a project, having a part time job and doing three long school essays.
That got me thinking how often we judge by the wrong thing, so let’s put that right, let’s make a different.
Here is the challenge
Tweet, email or Facebook tag me a picture of your child’s bedroom and tell me at the same time their three greatest qualities and use the tag #dontjudgeme
Let’s start a revolution where we stop judging our teens from what is outside and start judging them on what is inside.