Teens messy bedrooms

Does it matter if your child’s bedroom is a mess?

Don’t Judge me – messy bedrooms!

messy bedroomsThe other day I started to talk about the state of my daughter’s bedroom to illustrate a point about respect. In all of my 14 year of working with parents I am convinced Parents focus on the wrong things when judging if they are great at this parenting job (whatever great is).

They tend to focus on:

  • Homework
  • Grades
  • Chores and the state of their child’s bedroom i.e messy bedrooms.

While these are all valid things I would suggest that when they are older a child will not put their success down to clean bedroom, a perfect report card or three hours of homework a night ! Do messy bedrooms really matter that much?

We judge if  a teen will be a success by the amount of homework they do, their grades and the state of their bedroom. Crazy!

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Three Healthy Habits to Teach Your Teen by Example

parenting teens The way we act as parents can impact the way our children feel about themselves. This sentiment is also true for influencing the health of our children. Although they might not want to admit it, our teens are watching us all of the time, keeping tabs on what we eat, how often we exercise, and if we buckle up in the car. With this in mind, the following three healthy habits are all things we can teach our teens by example:

Be a role model for safety

Do you want your teen to wear a helmet each and every time he or she heads out on a bike or rollerblades? Then as a parent, you should be sure that you do the same thing — every time. This concern for safety extends to other activities as well, notes the CDC, including always wearing a seat belt when you go out to drive, wearing sunscreen, and taking care of your eyes when heading out for a walk. Make sure you child wears UV-resistant sunglasses when outside. If you have some scratched up old shades you’d like to hand down, you can always replace the lenses inexpensively from a company like Revant Optics. If you go hiking together, have your teen help you to put together a portable first aid kit and set aside some bottles of water. By reinforcing these safety steps yourself, you establish a great model for healthy safety habits.

Watch what you eat

Teens and junk food seem to go hand in hand. If you are concerned your teen is overdoing it a bit on less-than-healthy foods, take an honest look at what you are eating and drinking. When you sit down to watch TV at night, do you have a bottle of water or a soda by your side? When you’ve had a busy day and are too tired to cook dinner, do you make an effort to throw together a quick salad and baked chicken breasts, or do you pile in the car and make a fast food run? As Sparke notes, it’s also important to not use food as a reward — at least not too often. In order to teach healthy eating habits by example, try not to motivate your teens with food. If you have had a great week at work and want to celebrate, treat yourself to a new pair of running shoes or maybe a nice new coffee mug instead of a big slice of chocolate cheesecake.

Take care of your body

Another wonderful way to lead by example when it comes to health is to be sure you are taking care of your body. At dinner, mention that you are going in for your yearly physical, and even though it might not be your favorite thing to do, talk about it in a positive manner. Brush your teeth at least twice a day and floss regularly — although your teen probably won’t stand in the bathroom doorway and watch you do this, he or she will notice that you are doing it. And if flu shots are important to you, ask your new driver to give you a lift over to the nearby pharmacy and hang out with you when you get your shot.

What To Do About Kids Targeted Online

Cyber bullying concept.Traditionally, bullying has been a face-to-face ordeal, often involving a kid or teen being emotionally or physically cruel to another. But now, thanks to advances in technology, bullies can attack their victims in cyberspace, through things like emails, texts and posts on social media sites.

Who is Affected?

According to an article on StopBullying.gov, statistics from 2008-2009 show that 6 percent of students in grades 6 through 12 experienced cyberbullying. A 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey found that 16 percent of high-school students were bullied electronically within the last year. As the article points out, although research on this topic is becoming more prevalent, it can be hard to accurately assess how common this problem is, in part because technology is changing so rapidly.

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How to set curfews with Teenagers

The most difficult thing a parent does.

There is no doubt about it setting curfews and having your teenager stick to them is one of the most stressful parenting challenges. I think we make it so difficult for ourselves sometimes as parents by thinking what we should do rather than what we want to do. I believe to be a successful parent we need to first get clear what we want in our own family, what we want in our relationship with our teenager, not stick to some generic way of parenting that some guru tells us works ! So if you are a parent who likes to do things differently then here are my tips for creating curfews with your teens that won’t mean you are shouting at them all the time.

listen to ‘How to set Curfews with Teenagers ’ on Audioboo

Family Dynamics: Learning To Openly Communication and Spend Quality Time Together

Communication in a Technical World

Your 12-year-old son plugs a pair of white ear buds into his ears, falls back onto the couch and starts scribbling away on his iPad. Your 15-year-old daughter is around the corner walking like a zombie around the house, with her head down, fully absorbed in text-message-wonderland. Your wife is, well….You’re not actually sure where your wife is because you’re too busy trying to fix the remote for the HD plasma TV you just bought. At this point, you have to wonder what the function of your home and family is, aside from providing food and shelter.

Communicate With Your Family IRL (In Real Life)

If this sounds all too familiar, you may be due for a family reality check! No longer should you make the excuse that technology is distracting your family members from spending time with one another. It’s not technology that’s forcing your family to tune each other out, it’s your lack of drive to keep the communication flowing.

Ed Young—The Family Man

Just ask Ed Young, one of the most insightful relationship gurus in the United States. Ed Young is an author, speaker, family man and a pastor at Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas. His unique perspective on family bonds, marriage and spirituality has attracted a worldwide following of all ages and persuasions.

Ed Young’s popular books, “Outrageous, Contagious Joy”, “Life’s Too Short” and “The Marriage Mirror” deal with themes of finding life’s true purpose, connecting with God through your loved ones and growing closer to your spouse. Young’s “Parent Map” DVD, as described on his site, offers some valuable advice regarding family priorities and connectedness.

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